From time to time, every writer should look back at her previous work. In this spirit, here is a list of some pieces I wrote as a child, re-christened with more accurate titles. Enjoy.
The New Math: Writing Numbers Sideways and Backwards
The Ouija Board Only Talks About TV (with Melinda Quintero)
Impotent Rage: The Collected Letters
Life Was […]

Today’s creepiest comment spams were the self-referential ones:
So much spam in here (
and
Spam really sucks.
The latter was written by someone with the alarmingly plausible name of Bill, but his appearance of legitimacy is damaged by the fact that his url includes the words “nelly furtado” and “assoluto.”
The best spam of the day, however, stood […]

I know many of you work at white-collar jobs, and some of you may get the opportunity to fudge the accounts from time to time. But you are probably unsure how to do this effectively. You need some sort of instruction, some sort of “guide.” Look no further:

Yes, I know this is just a picturre, […]

Are you wasting your time with Meyers-Briggs or match.com, taking tests that identify you as “shy yet outgoing” or “fun yet repugnant”? You need no longer do this! Now one simple test will give you all the self-knowledge you will ever need. Take it now.