Milk Board lying to us all
Today during my weekly reading of Savage Love,I noticed this puzzling advertisement:
My curiosity piqued, I visited Cowabduction.com. But the site only made me more confused. Who would pay for prime ad space on The Onion and a slick flash design, only to display fake testimonials from farmers who had lost their cows? Clearly this was some sort of sick joke, perpetrated by someone who has no appreciation for the pain and suffering the loved ones of alien abductees actually face. But who was this person, whose web design skills were as polished as his heart was cold?
My first clue came from the site’s FAQ:
Strong bones? PMS? Cookies? Where had I heard this rhetoric before? The answer came to me when I scrolled to the bottom of the page and found the following attribution:
Copyright 2006 California Milk Processor Board
It’s true. The folks who brought you “Got Milk?” have struck again, this time with a viral marketing campaign. There appears to be no end to their ingenuity. Next they will be kidnapping are soda machines and replacing them with cows.
March 1st, 2006 at 10:47 pm | Promoted
Moo
March 2nd, 2006 at 11:53 am
The ridiculous thing about the Milk Board is that they don’t acknowledge that over half of the world, and tons of Americans, are unable to benefit from the calcium that milk provides. Many are lactose intolerant - meaning fun things like stomach pains and fermentative diarrhea - and many more are lactose malabsorbant, meaning they do not absorb the lactose in milk which is what helps some people the calcium, which is what produces all those extolling qualities.
So Milk Board, let’s be honest - milk is only really helpful to white people with northern ancestry.
March 11th, 2006 at 11:46 am | Promoted
I’m going to have to disagree with the milk is for white people comment. See, I’m black, and so is the rest of my family. We all love milk and have no problem digesting it. In case you missed it, there’s a doctor in my name. So I’m right.
“cattle terrorism?” - hilarious.