As you know, chimpanzees are extraordinarily intelligent. They share 98% of their DNA with humans. They can even do advertising! Observe.

Yes! I’m tired of your space! Please show me to another space! Seriously, even a 12-year-old kid can spell MySpace. Especially a 12-year-old kid.

And, observe again.

I have been seeing this god damn sexy Danish scientist and her ring tones all over my favorite web sites for weeks now. I finally clicked on her sorry ass, thinking she was probably some funny joke that would try to sell me a T-shirt. But no! Dr. Myra Vanderhood (her middle name is “TotallyRealMedicalScientist”) is actually trying to sell you a ringtone that will “unlock your sexual potential in an adventure of self-discovery through untamed passion and incredible pleasure.”

Now I’m not surprised by the actual pitch. I get spam like this all the time. I’m surprised by the fact that Dr. Myra and her minions actually paid the exorbitant fees to advertise on the front page of Gawker. Gawker’s audience is supposed to be media types and wannabe media types. Dr. Myra’s audience is nincompoops. Didn’t she realize this? Didn’t she think to advertise on nincompoops.com? Or, failing that, on MySpace?

Posted in Myra Vanderhood made me marry my cell phone

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