Live-blogging at the jaws of Hell
1:06 PM Team (Annalog, Annalog boyfriend, Annalog nonfunctional laptop) arrive at Fry’s Electronics. Human members of team are filled with naive hope that problem with laptop can be diagnosed.
1:12 Noticed by Technician at Service Desk. Problem explained. Technician commences studiously ignoring team.
1:22 Technician points at team suggestively. Technician 2 takes bait, questions team. Form is procured.
1:25 Form completed.
1:35 Completion noticed by Technician 2. Invoice generated from form. Team instructed to pay.
1:36 Team presents credit card. Technician 2 looks at team like team crazy. Team proceeds to registers.
1:40 Return to Service Desk. Studiously ignored. Team discusses placement of power strips next to service desk; speculates that “impulse items” (gum, magazines) should be placed here instead.
1:50 Run into old acquaintance. Chat about good times.
2:25 Technician 2 interrupts ignoring to give team receipt.
2:30 More pointing.
2:35 Technician 3 greets team, types on computer.
2:45 Power strips begin to look like “impulse items.”
2:50 Technician 3 generates invoice identical to that generated at 1:35. Laughs like this is funny.
3:00 Courtesy Associate arrives. Wears nametag emblazoned with phrase “I AM HERE FOR YOU!” Stands directly in front of team copying information from one form to another. Leaves without ever making eye contact or sound.
3:05 Technicians 3 and 4 examine computer exterior. Turn upside down and sideways. Poke. Team imagines identical scene in which laptop presented to apes. Reflects that such uncharitable thoughts are sin for which team is currently being punished.
3:15 Forms appear! Is the end nigh?
3:20 Team presented with opportunity to apply for Fry’s credit card. Tries to contain scorn.
3:30 Forms are finished. Team allowed to leave Service Desk, minus laptop and $90. The ordeal is over, yet victory is empty. Team would pay any amount of money to get smiled at. Team proceeds to Starbucks.
January 16th, 2006 at 1:14 am | Promoted
That same thing happened to me at Fry’s when I had laptop problems! But I was not part of a team…
January 16th, 2006 at 10:45 am | Promoted
I went to Fry’s because my USB drive was acting funny. Admittedly, I broke it - the mouse got knocked off the desk and was dangling from the port and I think it broke something loose.
I walk up to the desk and am ignored (shocking) by some technicians until someone finally comes over. I explain the problem.
Technician (who looks younger than I am): Who makes your computer?
Me: Dell
T: Did did you call them?
Me: No, they are incompetent. I don’t want to go through them.
T: Oh… well, I’m just surprised because their service is rated number one.
Me [fuming]: Well, they basically don’t get anything right - it’s a long story but I refuse to deal with Dell anymore.
T: Oh, okay [gives me funny look like I just told him I prefer not to eat cheese from the moon because it gives me gas]… well, we can’t fix your computer because Dell would not let us order replacement parts. So I don’t think I can help you.
Me: Well, is there anything you can do?
T: You’re going to have to call Dell?
Me: Is there ANY ALTERNATIVE? I’m not calling Dell.
T: [looks at me like I turned down foie gras for trash pizza] Well, aside from fixing the port … [gives me a long winded talk that culminates in a $15 solution].
Me: Okay, thanks… [T out of earshot] thanks for nothing you fucking psycho. Dell is number one? Please…
As TheAnnalog can attest, Dell is certainly NOT number one.
January 17th, 2006 at 2:19 pm | Promoted
Mooncheese gives you gas?