Science Timese
NYT’s “The Cute Factor,” accompanied by adorable penguin and panda pictures, totally had me until this sentence:
The 6-month-old, 25-pound Tai Shan - whose name is pronounced tie-SHON and means, for no obvious reason, “peaceful mountain” - is the first surviving giant panda cub ever born at the Smithsonian’s zoo.
Why, I wondered, did reporter Natalie Angier find Tai Shan’s name so unreasonable? Was it because the sounds “Tai Shan” did not resemble the sounds “peaceful mountain,” and thus there was no reason the two should be connected? I had to assume this was not Ms. Angier’s complaint, as NYT reporters, even those assigned the zoo beat, presumably have some understanding of translation. I could only conclude that what Ms. Angier found unjustified was the attachment of a name meaning “peaceful mountain” to a panda cub. This led me to imagine, with a shudder, the scene of my own birth as documented by Ms. Angier:
The 7-pound, 12-ounce Anna — whose name is pronounced AN-nuh and, for no obvious reason, means either “gracious” or “graceful” depending on who you ask — is only the six-billion-three-hundred-and-seventh human baby to be born in captivity. Her name is made even more ridiculous by the fact that she lacks even the most basic motor control, and thus is very nearly the antithesis of grace.
Names are not always descriptive, Natalie Angier. I knew another Natalie in junior high school, whose name was entirely un-descriptive until some guys re-christened her Naddy. It sucked to be her. Do not wish this on a panda cub.
Seriously, though, I discovered a possible reason for Ms. Angier’s confusion over the proper usage of the phrase “for no obvious reason.” Observe the link in the screenshot below:
That’s right — “The Cute Factor” is written in “Science Timese.” Clearly this is a language with very rigorous rules of naming, a language in which each person’s name very closely describes a physical attribute or behavioral tendency. Perhaps Natalie Angier’s name in Science Timese is “She Who Assumes that Foreign-Sounding Names Probably Mean Something Like ‘Panda Cub who Eats Bamboo and Lives in the Zoo with Friends.’”
January 3rd, 2006 at 1:51 pm | Promoted
Actually, it’s a very descriptive name. I mean, it’s a panda. Pandas do nothing but sit on their asses and eat bamboo, like a peaceful mountain. Much better than the previous Panda names which are just really random cute names.
January 3rd, 2006 at 10:31 pm | Promoted
The Annalog is hot on the expository zoo writing trail! Too bad you weren’t on the zoo-track in high school, like some certain big boobed gals, otherwise you could replace this Natalie person, who probably in other news made some insightful remarks on Indian chief of old, Tasunkkakokipapi, whose name for no apparent reason means, (incorrectly?) “Man Afraid of His Own Horses.”
http://www.axel-jacob.de/chiefs9.html#afraid