The ghost of Charles Dickens haunts my inbox

Today is a Spamalog day. Around 6, I received the missive excerpted below:

and then, over a glass of Yarmouth grog, we will have the
the greater Mr. Peggottys ecstasy became, and the more he rubbed his head in his mothers lap to be out of harms way, and little unable to liquidate, brought a tear into the manliest eye present. than forty-seven persons must have been accommodated with dinner at of thy true eyes, in that same time, the spirit of my child-wife
I am so blest, Trotwood

The sender was “Scot Hutchinson,” a particularly effective spamoniker, as it resembles the name of someone I actually know. But the real author of this doggerel is not Mr. Hutchinson, but Charles Dickens. Casual Googling reveals that Trotwood and Peggotty are both characters from David Copperfield, and an unscientific analysis of diction leads me to believe that the rest of the excerpt is simply more DC fed through some sort of gibberish-izer.

It’s a sad world in which a spammer can bastardize a timeless classic (who among us has not read the first fifty or a hundred pages of this tome?) — rendering it nothing more than a bizarre footnote to a sales pitch? The DC stuff, I should mention, followed a long description of Koko Petroleum, a stock which “IS GOING TO ROCKET.” For the uninitiated, this type of email is meant to drive up the price of a penny stock, allowing the spammer to sell high and reap double or triple the initial investment. Presumably the SEC will do something about this, but for now the evil scheme seems to work pretty well.

4 Responses to “The ghost of Charles Dickens haunts my inbox”

  1. The Annalog » Blog Archive » His weapon is knowledge Says:

    […] Brought to you by the letter A, and the number 4 billion. « The ghost of Charles Dickens haunts my inbox Main […]

  2. Marisa Says:

    My spam is not very Dickensian, but interesting nonetheless

    just a little weird…

    ———- Original message ———-
    From: Ina Wolff
    Date: Dec 17, 2005 8:30 PM
    Subject: abusive Free quality adult personals domestic violence is a selling point?
    To: not my email

    abstracter Are you searching for sexual partners in your town?
    Cl1ck here for biggest database of girls and guys waiting for a d4te!

    is the full body of the article available if I subscribe?

    You don’t want to receive any more e-mails like that? Get you off. Sincerely, Ina Wolff

    Are you insinuating that spam gets me off? I don’t judge you or your sexual preferences, Ina. I demand the same respect.

  3. The Annalog » Blog Archive » More letters from dead authors Says:

    […] Regular readers will recall that I received some mail from Charles Dickens a little while ago. Now other wordsmith has contacted me from beyond the grave: Equity Preview Emerson, Ralph Waldo […]

  4. The Annalog » Blog Archive » Just plain eerie Says:

    […] Today’s installment of David Copperfield spam has a strangely melancholy tone: foreshadowing of what she would be to me, in the calamity that was […] He replied, a wedding. And theyll all hate me for taking her away. […]

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